


What Kaidan Bought With His Allowance

by prettysemmy



Series: Reasons [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bullying, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, POV Kaidan Alenko, POV Male Shepard, Pre-Slash, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-14
Updated: 2012-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 08:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettysemmy/pseuds/prettysemmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if rich kid Kaidan Alenko met earthborn Shepard when they were nine and six years old?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is not slash but it's sequels will be. I want to warn you now, however, that the second installment will be underage (14/17) so if that bothers you, you have now been forewarned and may choose to stay away.

Kaidan folded his arms across his chest and scoweled at his parents. Not that they noticed. His parents were searching for a new mech maid and it was taking _forever_. He was _soo bored_.

He'd heard that Illium was awesome and exciting, but so far this trip just sucked. Kaidan started wandering around, not too far, he could still hear his parents if they called for him, but at least there was a _little_ bit more to look at. He checked out a few kiosks; one was selling fish and model ships; that one was okay; another was selling different technical services, boring again.

Kaidan turned the corner and finally found something more interesting. There was a little boy sitting on a bench, kicking his feet back and forth. Kaidan was still puzzling out what he was doing here, with no parents around, when the kid noticed him looking. He stopped swinging his feet and looked back at Kaidan, almost defiantly. Kaidan thought it was pretty funny that this kid, who looked about four, would think he could intimidate Kaidan.

But even with that look, or possibly because of it, Kaidan decided he wanted to walk over and talk to this kid. He looked interesting. More interesting than maids at least.

"Hi," Kaidan said to him.

"Hi," the kid said back.

"My name is Kaidan," Kaidan said, holding out his hand. But the kid just looked at it, then him, then raised his eyebrows as if to say, _really?_ Kaidan felt kind of dumb, so he dropped his hand back down, but he didn't want to give up just yet.

"What's your name?" he tried again.

"Shepard."

"That's a strange name," Kaidan commented, because, well, it was.

"Yeah, well, your name sounds stupid."

Kaidan sighed. This kid, Shepard, was being so difficult. "I said strange," Kaidan explained, "that doesn't mean I don't like it. It's not stupid, it's just different."

"Oh,” he said, and at least he looked ashamed for being so defensive. Shepard dropped his head down a little and then said to Kaidan's feet. "I'm sorry I said that about your name. I didn't really mean it."

Kaidan wanted Shepard to stop being difficult, but he _didn't_ want him to be sad. "Hey, it's okay." Kaidan said softly. "My name's kind of a weird too. I don't know anybody else named Kaidan. And, well, I like your name. It's unique."

Shepard finally looked back up and the corner of his mouth moved up tentatively. "You know what Kaidan, you're kind of weird," Shepard's almost-smile shifted into a small smirk, "but I like it."

"Uh, thank you, I think."

"Oh, it's a good thing, don't worry. I'm an excellent judge of character." And he was so confident but so small. It was actually pretty cute. Although, now that he was thinking about it, Kaidan didn't think Shepard acted four.

"How old are you?" Kaidan had to ask.

"Six," Shepard answered like he was proud of it. Years of experience, his look said.

Kaidan smiled at him. "Yeah? I thought that..." but then Kaidan trailed off because, if the kid was sensitive about his name, he'd probably be sensitive about being told he looked four.

But Shepard just rolled his eyes, "And now your gunna tell me I look like I'm five, aren't you?" But he didn't look offended, he was actually giving Kaidan a full smile now.

"Four actually," Kaidan felt comfortable enough to say.

"Four! Jeeze, give me a little credit," Shepard said, looking alarmed. "I don't talk like I'm four. At least give me that."

"No, you don't."

"And what are you, like nine?"

Kaidan's eyes widened. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Like I said," he continued, but with a more serious, and maybe a little sad, tone to his voice, "I'm good at reading people."

"Where are your parents?" Kaidan asked. He was concerned that Shepard was all alone. Why weren’t they keeping him safe?

"Oh, somewhere I'm sure," Shepard said, like it didn’t really matter.

"Oh, um, well, what are you doing here?"

"Waiting," Shepard answered, and Kaidan got the sense Shepard was getting tired of his questions.

"Uh, yeah, me too. Waiting," Kaidan clarified and then felt kind of stupid. For some reason this kid put him off balance, which wasn't really fair because Kaidan was three years older. "So, um, want to do something fun? You know, while we're waiting." 

"Like what?"

"Well, what do you do for fun?"

"Um..." Shepard looked unsure. Like he didn't know. How could he _not_ know what he did for fun? Unless he didn't do _anything_ for fun?! As the pause lengthened, Kaidan started to worry that was really the case. "Oh!" Shepard finally said, "sometimes I read comic books," and he sounded _so_ happy to come up with something.

"Hey me too." Kaidan said, relived that Shepard _did_ do fun, and that it was something they had in common. "Which ones?"

"Well, my favorite is The Dark Knight."

"Really?! He's my favorite too," Kaidan gushed excitedly. "He's _so_ cool. First human Spectre. Saved Gotham Colony from the geth."

"And he has all this money so he can make anything he wants," Shepard added, getting caught up in Kaidan's enthusiasm.

"Isn't his ship so cool?"

"Yeah, and his weapons."

"And his armor."

"Yeah, so cool."

"Wasn't the newest one, where he takes down the rogue Spectre, awesome?"

"...Oh," Shepard said, softer, slowing the conversation, "well, I haven't read the newest one."

"Oh, here, I can show you," Kaidan said and then opened up his backpack to pull out his pad. He scooted right up next to Shepard so they could both see the screen. After a few pages Shepard looked up at Kaidan and smiled really big. It gave Kaidan a nice warm feeling in his stomach. He also noticed Shepard's eyes were really blue.

"You know what," Kaidan said, "we should be friends. Do you think your parents would let you use the extranet? We could play online games. I don't have anybody to play with."

"Um, Kaidan," Shepard said, looking down at his hands, "thanks. It's a nice idea and all, but I don't have parents."

"But..." Kaidan said, really confused, "who takes care of you?"

"Well, I do," Shepard said with a shrug, and then looked at Kaidan's worried face. "I'm really good at it," he said reassuringly, "so don't worry, okay?"

Kaidan was not reassured. "But how do you get food? You're too young to have a job."

"No I'm not," Shepard said with confidence, "I work sometimes. And besides, I'm really good with computers, so I can get money if I need it."

It only took a second for Kaidan to figure out what Shepard meant. "So you hack them," he said flatly. "You steal."

Shepard turned his face away and replied, "If you're going to judge me, then maybe you should just go."

"No...I...I'm not trying to, Shepard, I just don't want you to have to." Kaidan bit his lip and scoweled at the floor. This was _not_ good, but Kaidan didn't know how to _help_. "What are you doing here, anyway?" he asked instead.

"Um, well..." Shepard smiled sheepishly, "see, I kinda got a ride from this ship, but...I wasn't officially supposed to be _on_ the ship, and when I went to get some food one night they found me, and well...I couldn't exactly pay for it, so now they're going to get their money back by...selling me."

"What?! People can't be sold!"

"Sure they can," Shepard said sounding far too unconcerned, "This is Illium, everything can be sold."

"Oh..." Kaidan said totally at a loss, "...but..."

"Do you, like him?" a voice interrupted him. He turned to see a volus regarding them critically.

"What?" Kaidan said when he realized the volus was talking to him.

"Do you like, the human child?"

"Yes." Kaidan answered quickly.

"He is quite the deal today. Quiet and very gifted with technology," the volus said between loud breaths. "Maybe you want to ask your parents, if they will buy him for you."

Wow, Kaidan hadn't even thought of that. He turned and asked Shepard, "Would you like that? If we bought you? You could come home and live with me." Shepard's eyes got really big like he hadn't thought of that either and he nodded mutely. "Great. Wait here, I'll be right back," Kaidan said, excitedly, and ran all the way back to his parents.

"Mom, hey Mom. There is this kid and his name is Shepard. He's being sold, and that's not right so I want to buy him so he can have a nice home. I can take care of him, you don't have to do a thing. It'll be great." He said, practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"Dear, you can't have a pet yet and I'm busy right now," his mom said distactedly, still trying to listen to what the retailer was saying. "We can talk about getting you a dog later."

"But he's not a dog, he's a person," Kaidan said, starting to get frustrated.

She turned to him and gave a short serious look. " _Not right now_ , Kaidan," she said and then turned back to her other conversation.

Kaidan let out a frustrated growl and trudged, sulkily, back to Shepard. "They're busy right now," Kaidan said to the volus.

"Oh, well kid I have some other customers, who want to look him over. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I'm sorry," the volus said and then turned to talk to a couple other humans.

"But..." leave? Kaidan couldn't leave. He needed to take care of Shepard. Make sure he was okay and had a good home. "I have money," he blurted.

The volus turned back and assessed him, "How much?"

"Five thousand one hundred and forty-two credits." Kaidan said. He knew exactly how much because he had been saving up for a beginner omni-tool but this was a lot more important.

"Well, I was hoping to get more for him, but that pays off his debt to us." He paused and thought for a short moment, then said, "You seem like you will take good care of him, so I'll sell him to you at a discount."

"Hey, I'm willing to pay four times that," the human customer said angrily.

"The boy came first," the volus said, "I'm selling the child to him."

"Thank you so much, sir!" Kaidan said, and the customer stalked off in a huff.

"Well, I didn't really like that guy anyway," the volus said to no one in particular. "This work for you, kid?" he asked Shepard. 

Shepard nodded. "Thank you, Doran," he said, earnestly.

Kaidan pulled out his chit card and his pad so he could pay and complete his contract. He made sure to read the _whole_ thing and looked up a couple words he didn't understand before he signed.

"Well young one, he's yours," Doran said when everything was finished. "Take good care of him, he's a special one."

"Oh, I will," Kaidan said with seriousness. He was going to do the best job he could.

"Good," Doran said, with a nod, and then left.

Kaidan turned to look at Shepard and gave him a huge smile. "Come on, you've gotta meet my parents." Kaidan was so excited. Shepard was his and he was going to have a friend to play with all the time and Shepard would have a nice home and he would never have to go hungry again.

"Do we need to go pick up any of your other stuff?" Kaidan asked, looking at the small backpack Shepard was pulling out from underneath the bench.

"No. This is everything," he said softly. He pulled his backpack on and turned to Kaidan, "Kaidan, I..." Shepard trailed off, apparently at a loss for words.

"I'm really glad I found you," Kaidan said.

They walked back, but Kaidan's parents were still talking to the retailer so they went to sit on a nearby bench to wait.

"Kaidan, how did you have so much money?" Shepard asked after a short silence.

"I get an allowance and I've been saving it up."

"For what?" Shepard said, nervously.

Kaidan nudged him, "For you, apparently," he said with a big smile and after a moment Shepard returned it.

"Kaidan, who's your friend?" Kaidan's mom said. He hadn't even heard her come over. When he looked up she was smiling warmly at both of them.

Kaidan hopped up and Shepard followed. "This is Shepard," Kaidan said happily, "he's mine."

"What do you mean, he's yours, honey?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair affectionately.

"I bought him with my allowance. He's mine. See?" he said and brought the contract up on his pad screen to show her. Her smile morphed into a frown as she read.

"Kaidan, honey, if you want a pet you buy a fish, or maybe a dog. You don't buy a person. We have to take him back." 

Shepard stiffened at her words and so Kaidan reached over to grab his hand and then stepped in between Shepard and his mother. "No Mom, I'm not taking him back. And you can't make me either. Nobody but me can sell him or else it would be stealing. It says so in the contract." Then he begged her with his eyes, "He's mine, Mom, and I want to keep him."

She sighed, frown still in place. "I don't like this Kaidan. We are going to discuss this with your father. But I suppose we have to bring him home with us for now. We'll figure out what to do then."

Kaidan beamed at her. He knew now she was going to give in and let him keep Shepard. "Thanks Mom. Shepard won't be any trouble. I'll take of everything, you don't have to do a _single thing_. It will be great. You'll see."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: You may have noticed the tags of Fluff and Angst and then thought, gosh that first chapter was all fluff and no angst. Well, this next chapter is basically all angst on not so much with the fluff.
> 
> Just wanted you to know so you don't go in hoping for fluffy and then become very disappointed when you get something else.

They didn't really know what to do with him. They hadn't enrolled him in school but that was okay; he already knew everything kids his age were learning. Plus Kaidan just came home and taught Shepard everything he had learned that day anyway.

He had lots of free time when Kaidan was at school so he read a lot. Sometimes he helped Mrs. Alenko with baking or Mr. Alenko with fixing things, but mostly they just let him do his own thing as long as he didn't leave the house.

He did anyway. Every day he would sneak out so he could meet Kaidan on his walk home from school. That was always the best part. Kaidan would smile at him and give him a hug. Kaidan was like that, affectionate, all the time. Shepard still wasn't used to it, but he liked it anyway.

They'd walk home and then Kaidan would teach him things or they'd play sports outside or video games inside. Sometimes they'd just curl up on the couch and read. They did everything together. Even sleeping. When Shepard moved here, Kaidan didn't have an extra bed so Shepard just slept in Kaidan's bed too. They'd finally gotten Shepard his own bed after a couple months but he preferred just sharing with Kaidan so he never used it.

He'd been with Kaidan for five months and it still seemed way too good to be true. He was afraid it would end any day. Well, he knew it couldn't last, but he really hoped he'd be proven wrong.

Shepard walked down the sidewalk to Kaidan's school. He could just see it over the top of the hill. Kaidan must have done something after school today because he usually met Shepard on the way, way before Shepard got to the school.

There he was. Shepard spotted Kaidan walking really slowly, talking excitedly with a cute girl.

Shepard smiled, figures Kaidan got distracted by a girl.

"Shepard!" Kaidan said smiling when he saw Shepard walking towards them. Then he frowned when he realized how late he was. "I'm sorry I'm being slow and you had to walk all the way here."

"It's okay, I don't mind," Shepard said. And just like always, when Kaidan reached him, he gave Shepard a big hug, squeezing him too tight.

"Ugh, Kaidan, stop," Shepard said, but he didn't actually mind too much. He was really happy Kaidan gave him a hug even though the girl was here.

"Is that your little brother?" Kaidan's friend asked, "He doesn't look anything like you."

Kaidan put his arm around Shepard's shoulders. "No, he's not my brother, he's my..." Kaidan frowned, not sure what to call Shepard. They didn't talk to other people about what they were, if it even had a name. "...um," Kaidan said, "He's just mine. I take care of him."

"I heard about him," a voice interrupted behind them. Shepard turned to see a group of three boys. There was a tall skinny kid, a short ugly kid and a big, mean looking kid in the middle. The big one was talking. "He's your pet," the kid said nastily. "No better than a dog. Does he fetch?" the other boys laughed like that was supposed to be funny. "I bet you're not even smart enough," he said, looking down at Shepard.

"Don't talk to him like that," Kaidan said firmly, stepping in between Shepard and the boys. But then the guy walked right up to Kaidan.

"What are you gunna do about it?" he said and then he shoved Kaidan.

Shepard scowled and started moving towards them, intending to punch the big one in the stomach, but Kaidan caught him around his waist.

"Don't, Shepard, they're not worth the trouble," Kaidan said. But it sounded like he was just repeating something someone else had told him. Like this had happened before. Why hadn't Shepard _known_ about it?

Kaidan's friend had known though. "I'll go tell the principal if you don't leave them alone!" she said. "You'll get in a lot of trouble for picking on Kaidan again after they told you to stop."

"It's okay, Katie," Kaidan said softly, "I'm sure they're going to leave us alone now, right?" He glared at the bullies and then turned to his friend, "I'll see you later," he said, his voice nice again.

"Are you sure?" she asked, doubtful.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks though," he reassured her and then watched to make sure she got back to the school safely.

"Come on, let's go home," Kaidan said, putting his arm back around Shepard's shoulders.

"Yeah, okay..." Shepard said and turned back to scowl at the boys one last time. He turned back just in time to see a rock leave one of the boy's hands.

"Kaidan, watch out!" he said, and tried to push Kaidan out of the way. But he wasn't quite fast enough and the rock grazed Kaidan's head and drew blood.

Shepard couldn't believe they just did that. He growled, _furious_ , and ran at them. He barreled the big one over with his momentum and anger, and then he punched him in the face three times before the two other boys pulled him off.

They threw him on the ground and kicked him in the stomach.

"Stop!" Kaidan yelled and then punched one of them, the tall one, in the face. That distracted the other enough that Shepard swept his foot into the kid's legs and dropped him. Shepard got back up, but so did the ugly kid. He punched the kid in the face and swiped his legs one more time just to convince him to stay down, but he was ready with his next punch if it didn't work.

Except he heard a distressed noise from Kaidan.

He turned to see that the big kid had Kaidan in a head lock and tall one was punching him in the stomach.

"No!" he yelled as he ran into the tall guy.

At that same moment they all flew apart, violently, in a blue light explosion.

Shepard got up off the grass shakily. The smaller kid was trying to sit up, hand on his head, but the big kid was laying on the cement unconsious and...

...so was Kaidan. Shepard stopped breathing.

 _No, no, no, no_. He ran over and fell to his knees beside Kaidan. Kaidan was okay. He _had_ to be okay. "Kaidan?" he said, his voice tight.

Okay, okay, Kaidan was breathing. Shepard took a shaky breath. And...he wasn't bleeding anywhere except the cut from the rock and that wasn't bleeding too bad. "Kaidan?" he tried again, touching Kaidan's face. Kaidan moved his head toward Shepard's hand but he didn't wake up. But it was enough to convince Shepard that Kaidan was going to be okay.

He got back up to his feet determinedly. He would come back to Kaidan as soon as possible, but right now he had to do damage control. He walked over to the two guys who were trying to pick up their semi-unconscious friend. He stepped right up to them and said, his voice angry and dangerous, "If you _ever_ mess with Kaidan again, I swear I _will_ kill you with my powers. You know I can."

They gaped at him, then, "Don't hurt us..." "Were sorry..." "We won't do it again..." they babbled at the same time.

"Get _out_ of here," Shepard demanded and they practically stumbled over each other to get away.

He went back to Kaidan and sat down. Then he adjusted Kaidan so that his head was laying on Shepard's lap instead of the cement. "Kaidan wake up," Shepard said quietly.

He didn't know what to do. He was scared and he couldn't carry Kaidan back to the house without help. He especially didn't know what to do with this one very important piece of information.

Kaidan was a biotic.

"You didn't tell me you could do that," he said softly to an unconcious Kaidan.

Shepard had read about biotic children in the long hours when Kaidan was at school. He hadn't read good things. He knew that they were often separated from their parents and experimented on. He _couldn't_ let that happen to Kaidan, he would do _anything_ to keep Kaidan safe.

He needed to know more about it; biotics and what happened to them. He _had_ to get information but he had a plan on how to get it.

"Oww," Kaidan said, waking up and interrupting Shepard's thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

"I will be," he said, looking up at Shepard. He smiled, shakily, and tried to be reassuring, "My head sure hurts, but I think my brain is still there."

He started getting up. "Are you sure you should be getting up already?" Shepard asked, but helped Kaidan anyway because Kaidan just ignored the question.

"What happened?" Kaidan asked, "It was like an explosion."

"I don't know," Shepard said, trying to sound convincing, "that was pretty crazy, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Kaidan said, sounding worried.

Shepard decided to distract him. "Well, now we get to go tell your mom that you got beat up. That will be fun."

"Oh, don't remind me," Kaidan said with a sigh and they hobbled, together, back to the house, each holding the other up.

So this was Shepard's plan.

The next day he waited till Kaidan went to school and snuck out of the house. He had borrowed the beginner omni-tool that Kaidan got for his birthday and took the bus to the closest Alliance base. He made sure to reprogram the omni-tool and left all forms of identification at the house so if he got caught it couldn't be traced back to Kaidan.

It was easy to walk into the base saying he was just going to find his mom and that he knew where he was going; nobody thinks a little kid is going to do something bad.

It didn't take too long to find the office he wanted. It just had to be empty and belong to someone important. He hacked the door and then the computer in the office. It took all of his previous experience to get into it, but it worked. He was right, the files on biotic children were in the system, you just had to have high enough clearance.

He sent it digitally to his pad, which was back home, and then he was done, mission accomplished. Now all he had to do was get back out.

He cracked the door open and didn't see anybody so he snuck out. But, just as he was shutting the door, a guard came around the corner.

"What are you doing here, kid?" the guy said gruffly.

 _Oh no_.

Shepard released the door, but he knew the guard had seen. "I just got lost," he said, trying to sound innocent.

"You shouldn't be here," the guard continued in a mean voice, "and you especially shouldn't have been in that room. I don't know how you got in there, but I'm bringing you in."

Shepard turned and ran. Unfortunately the guy was a lot taller and he caught up quickly. Shepard was almost to the stairwell when the guy grabbed his wrist and yanked him back hard.

"Oww, you're hurting me," he said, trying to appeal to the guy's guilt.

But apparently this guy didn't care about hurting kids because his grip just tightened and he growled, "Then you shouldn't have been snooping where you don't belong."

Shepard kicked the guy in the shin as hard as he could, which fortunately shocked the guy enough to loosen his hold. He wrenched his arm free and took off again. He ran around the corner, opened the stairwell door and then ran back and hid around a further corner. The guy fell for it, like Shepard had hoped, and headed down the stairs.

Then Shepard took the elevator down and snuck out the front as fast as he could. He had to hide behind a couple people on the way out but he made it without another incident.

His bus ride home was very uncomfortable though; his shoulder hurt really bad and some bruises were forming on his wrist. And he was just barely going to get back in time to meet Kaidan on his walk home. He really didn't want Kaidan to suspect anything because Shepard wanted to try to break everything to him as softly as possible.  
Except it didn't work out that way.

"The guys at school said something very interesting today," Kaidan said, casually, when they met up. Shepard wasn't fooled by the tone, especially since Kaidan hadn't given him a hug.

"Really, what was that?" Shepard asked, but it came out a lot weaker than he wanted.

"They said that you knocked me and Nate out with a blue explosion. They said that you're dangerous. Nate says his mom called my mom today when she finally got him to tell her what happened."

Shepard didn't say anything. What if Kaidan was scared of him now? What if he wanted Shepard to leave?

"It was me," Kaidan interrupted Shepard's frantic thoughts, "I know it was me. Why did you tell them it was you?"

"You didn't tell them it was you, did you?" Shepard whispered, now freaking out even more. He was terrified that Kaidan had put himself in danger.

"I did." Kaidan said and Shepard stopped breathing, but Kaidan continued, "They didn't believe me. They said I'm protecting you. And I couldn't do it again to prove it was me." 

"Okay," Shepard let out a huge breath as he started breathing again, "okay, good."

"Shepard, _why did you do it_?"

Shepard looked at Kaidan's upset face, "I'll tell you, okay? But we have to go to your room." They walked the rest of the way in silence. It almost felt like Kaidan was mad at him.

"Nobody can know," he said when they closed the door to Kaidan's room.

"Why not?" Kaidan asked, sounding worried and confused.

"Just trust me, okay, don't tell anyone." He took a deep breath, this was _not_ the way he wanted to do this. "It's called biotics," he continued. "It can happen if your mother is exposed to something called Element Zero while she's pregnant. That must have happened to you."

He looked at Kaidan, but he seemed to be taking this better than expected. "Some other species have biotic powers naturally," Shepard continued, "but they recently started finding humans, kids, who have biotics because they were exposed before they were born."

"Is it dangerous?" Kaidan asked.

"They don't know. There hasn't been enough time. But we'll figure it out, okay? You're going to be okay, I promise."

"But _why_ did you tell them it was _you_?" Kaidan asked, like that was the most important issue.

"Because the kids they found before, they were taken from their parents." Shepard said, getting upset even thinking about it, "A lot of them have had experiments done on them. I couldn't let anyone know it was you. They might take you away!"

"But what about _you_?!" Kaidan said, motioning to Shepard with a rough hand motion.

"It doesn't matter as long as you're safe." Shepard said, willing him to understand.

"But now _you're_ in danger!"

"I don't _care_."

"Well, I do!" Kaidan yelled.

"But you're more important!" Shepard yelled back.

"No, Shepard, I'm not!" Kaidan said, visibly distressed.

Shepard was getting frustrated. How was he going to protect Kaidan if Kaidan wasn't going to protect himself? "Promise me you won't tell them!" Shepard demanded, "It's too late anyway, you can't change it now. You can only put us both in more danger." Then he said in a quiet desperate voice, "If you ever do one thing for me, Kaidan, do this. Promise you won't tell anyone."

"I can't promise that," Kaidan said and Shepard closed his eyes in defeat. "But I won't tell anyone right now," Kaidan continued. Shepard swallowed and nodded. That was probably the best he could get now.

"I got something for you," Shepard said, not excited to share the research, but resigned. They had to know as much as possible if they were going to be able to prepare at all.

He handed Kaidan his pad to look at. "How did you get this?" Kaidan said after a moment. When Shepard didn't answer Kaidan said, much louder, "Shepard! How did you get this?"

"I stole it, okay?" he answered harshly, "I stole it from the Alliance's private files."

"Why would you do something like that?" His voice was quiet with disbelief and distress.

"Because we need to know!" Shepard said, why couldn't Kaidan understand? "We need to know what could happen to you and we need to know what to protect you from."

"You should have never...you should have never put yourself in danger," Kaidan said, his voice breaking up. He reached out and touched Shepard's arm.

Shepard sucked in a sharp breath as the touch moved his swollen shoulder.

"You're hurt," Kaidan said surprised, "How did you get hurt?" But when Shepard refused to answer Kaidan just got more determined. "Let me see," he demanded.

At least Shepard had randomly worn a button up shirt with a military tank underneath. He didn't think his shoulder could really handle a pull over right now. Shepard started trying to unbutton his shirt but it was hard to do without moving his shoulder so Kaidan did it for him.

When his shoulder was revealed it was really red and swollen. The bruise on his wrist wasn't too great either.

"It looks really bad." Kaidan said distressed.

"It's not a big deal. I've had way worse." Shepard said, trying to be reassuring.

"What do you mean you've had _worse_?" Kaidan said, like this was the worst news he received tonight by far.

 _Oops_ , Shepard thought and refused to meet Kaidan's eyes.

"Shepard?" Kaidan demanded, then more specifically. "How did you get the scar on your head?"

Kaidan had noticed the scar one day, even though it was well covered by his hair. When Kaidan asked about it, Shepard had just changed the subject and Kaidan had let it drop. He apparently decided now he needed to know. That it might be the "worse."

It was. One of them at least. "Well, I..." he didn't want to talk about this right now. When they were both already upset.

"Tell me," Kaidan demanded, his voice firm. Shepard paused as long as he could get away with.

"It was a bullet. I stole something valuable for money and I got caught." Shepard relayed the story like he hadn't been terrified at the time. "He had the gun to my head. He only missed because his partner tried to knock the gun away at the last moment."

"What?!" Kaidan said, like he was in pain. He swallowed hard and then whispered, "How old were you?"

"Four," Shepard said bluntly.

"Four?" Kaidan said and then wrapped his arms around Shepard's waist, staying on the uninjured side. "I won't let that happen to you again," he said into Shepard's hair, his voice getting muffled. When a drop of water hit Shepard's cheek he realized, shocked, that Kaidan was crying. "I won't let that happen because you're mine to take care of and," Kaidan paused and took a deep breath, "...because I love you."

No one had ever said that to Shepard before. "I...I know," he said because if anyone ever asked Shepard to describe the word, he would describe Kaidan.

Kaidan patched up Shepard's shoulder and they went to bed early. Since Kaidan didn't really want to let go of Shepard, he had to wait till Kaidan fell asleep before he could get up and read the research.

He copied it to Kaidan's pad and added notes as he read. He found enough to reassure himself that Kaidan would be fine as long as he kept it a secret and that his parents protected him when they found out.

Unfortunately, even though that was almost good news, he found another kind of bad news.

He'd known Kaidan's parents had put him up for adoption without telling Kaidan. But, he found out that someone had contacted Mrs. Alenko earlier that day about adopting him. Though it was never mentioned, Shepard knew it had to be because of the biotics. That meant he would have to go so he could protect Kaidan. To draw the attention away from him.

He had known this thing with Kaidan couldn't last forever, but he'd really thought he would have more time.

He still couldn't sleep so he snuck out. He wanted to get Kaidan a present before he left. He knew of a store that sold real paper comics and he wanted to give Kaidan the one they shared that first day. It wasn't very hard to take it and he got back before Kaidan woke up.

Shepard crawled up on the bed and sat down next to Kaidan. He smiled sadly at his sleeping friend for a second before shaking him, "Kaidan, Kaidan, wake up."

"Shep?" Kaidan said sleepily. Shepard smirked at him because he looked silly with his hair up all over the place.

"I have a present for you."

"What? Why are you awake already?" Kaidan asked and then yawned.

Shepard didn't really want to answer that question so he just held out the comic. "Here," he said.

Kaidan sat up and looked at it but then the sleepy smile fell off his face. "You stole this, Shepard," he said flatly, "We have to take it back."

Shepard's heart fell. "Don't take it back Kaidan. I want you to have it," he begged. "Just keep it. Please." It was really important. He needed Kaidan to _remember_.

He must have gotten his point through because Kaidan just nodded seriously and said, "Okay." 

"Do you want to read it together before you go to school?" Shepard asked.

"I can't," Kaidan said, getting out of bed, "I've got to get ready."

"Yeah, okay."

But Kaidan must have heard something in his tone. "Shepard, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, not moving his eyes up from the book still in his hands. Kaidan put a hand on his cheek and made him look up.

"If you are worried about the expirementors, don't be. I won't let them take you," he said with total confidence.

 _That's why I have to let them take me,_ Shepard thought, but he just nodded.

"We're going to talk about this when I get back," Kaidan said determinedly.

_No, we won't._

Kaidan walked up to the door and reached to open it.

"Goodbye Kaidan," Shepard blurted and Kaidan turned back to look at him.

"You're being really weird," he said and walked back and pulled him into a hug. It actually hurt quite a bit because Kaidan forgot about his shoulder but Shepard didn't make a sound. "I love you, you know," Kaidan said for a second time.

 _I love you too_ , he thought, but he couldn't say it. He'd never said that to anyone in his entire life. "I know," he said instead.

Kaidan walked back to the door, opened it and turned, one last time, to look at Shepard. "I'll be back soon," Kaidan said, smiled at him and then left. 

Shepard tried to memorize that smile as he sat there and listened to these people who were supposed to be his future adoptive family.

He knew these weren't good people, they didn't want to be family either, but he needed them to think he was the one with the biotics. He would go with them and then escape. 

They wouldn't suspect _Kaidan_ and they wouldn't get a chance to test _him_.

He was mostly sure he could escape.

"So what do you think, Shepard?" Kaidan's mom asked nicely. He thought out his answer carefuly. He needed to say yes and he really needed them to totally believe his lie.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," he said. "I'd like to have parents and...someone to help me with my powers. I'm afraid I might hurt someone...that I might hurt Kaidan."

"I know honey," she said, "I think this is for the best." And Shepard couldn't even be upset with her. She was just trying to protect Kaidan. She was just scared. According to her, Shepard's biotic explosion knocked her son unconscious.

"Okay, when do I leave?" Shepard asked even though he already knew the answer.

"They said you have to leave today. You won't be able to say goodbye to Kaidan."

He nodded and didn't have to fake looking distaught. "I'll just go get my stuff," he said and walked upstairs to grab the bag he had already packed. He still didn't have much. His only new possessions were the clothes Kaidan had grown out of and a brand new pad that Kaidan bought him for his birthday.

He looked around the room that was almost his and then grabbed the picture frame, that really wasn't his, off the desk, and shoved it into his bag.

"I'm ready," he said.

"I'm sorry you couldn't say goodbye to Kaidan," she said, and Shepard knew she almost meant it.

He looked up at her. "Just tell Kaidan..." Shepard felt his troat tighten and it was harder to speak, he had to look away, but this was his last chance to say it, "...tell him that I love him. Can you do that please?"

She knelt down and cupped his face, "Yes, Shepard," she said, "I can do that."

"Thank you," he said, took one last look at the place he could have called home and then left.


End file.
